


Just Hopin' That I Find

by missbeizy



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 09:50:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2768753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbeizy/pseuds/missbeizy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, it's sort of--Dom's been a complete arse, yeah? </p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Hopin' That I Find

So, it's sort of--Dom's been a complete arse, yeah?  

Which is funny and disappointing, because he's had a great time of it, success and a girl and all, same as Billy only on his own level, or whatever.  

And yet, arse.  

They still chat to and see each other but, well--if Billy thinks the word arse one more time he may have to suffocate himself.  

The problem is, is that he can't keep it to himself.  He was never any good at letting Dom muck about being shitty without intervening sooner or later.  
    
"Got something to say," Billy says over lunch, the first time Dom pops up in Los Angeles during his month-long stay.  
   
"Carry on," Dom replies.  
   
"Remember that time I tossed you out of bed and into the ocean and said you ought to quit your sorry bastard imitation?"  
   
"Sure." How could anyone forget?  It had resulted in such a fantastic splash.  
   
"I'm getting the urge to do that again, Monaghan."  
   
Dom stabs lifelessly at his chips. "Why?"  
   
Billy won't throttle him in public, of course, but it's a near thing.  

Since the Lost buzz has died down and Dom has gotten serious with Evangeline, he's withdrawn from mostly everything not Hawaii.  Even when he's with Fellowship members, he's not, really.  Billy is willing to give his best mate space, but this is getting out of hand.  There is _pouting_ , and pouting is certainly not on.  
   
"Don't be daft," Billy presses. "Dom."  
   
"Not here," Dom answers, finally, "too public, alright?" He shoots a glare that he reserves for paparazzi out the diner's windows.  

Billy hates that, hates that he has to endure it, and at the same time hates that he can't just deal with it.  It's made him harsh.  

 

*

   
   
They never discuss it, which surprises no one.  Billy talks to several mutual friends about it and gets variations on the same theme in response--Dom has to come around on his own this time.  They can rescue him when he's drowning (and they have, as he has done for them in the past), but not when he's the one holding himself under.  
   
Deep down, Billy is angry.  
   
Dom goes home to Hawaii for a week and then comes back.  He escorts Billy and family around for local fun and perks up a bit around the baby, which is the only bright spot for miles.   
   
And then one random evening he books a hotel room and gives Billy a key with a time written on the back in Sharpie, and Billy's first instinct is to say, _no.  Haven't gotten up to that in over a year, what're you playing at?_  

He is curious, though.  It's not as if they've been on the best of terms.  Why now?   
   
A better question might be: why is he so eager to go?  

The distance between the last time he had his hands on Dom's sex-flushed skin ( _naked, so fucking naked, not just without clothes but with no barrier of any kind, Dom's knees begging at his hips, Dom's tongue in his mouth_ ) and the present day seems so wide, so permanent.  

He isn't sure he even wants Dom that way anymore.  He isn't sure what Dom is thinking.  
   
Dom is sitting in a pool of cheap, yellow lamp light when Billy arrives, wearing black trousers that almost completely cover his bare feet and nothing else.  His pinky toenails are painted a dark color that might be speckled with glitter.  His wrists are weighed down by the usual array of cuffs, bands, and stringy sorts of things.  His hair is a mess of brown and fading blonde.  He looks like a washed out, slightly plastic version of the vibrant creature Billy fell in love with in New Zealand.  
   
"Hallo," Billy says, setting down his messenger bag, keys, and jacket.  There's a spiky tension in the air that would make any bloke nervous, but Billy isn't easily put off. "I do hope you're planning on plying me with alcohol of some kind."  
   
"Er," Dom says.  
   
"I wash my hands of you," Billy replies, sitting on the edge of the king-sized bed.  He glances about, taking note of Dom's duffle and the light coming from the bathroom and how hideously ugly the room is. "So."  
   
"You came."  
   
"That I did."  
   
The tension sprawls, yawns, sucking all the air from the room.  
   
Dom rakes a hand through his hair and hugs his knees to his chest.  He teeters at the edge of the worn chair, watching Billy. "I thought you might not."  
   
"Why's that?"   
   
"I'm an arse."  
   
 _Ooh, look who's caught up._  
   
"And you figured," Billy gestures vaguely, "what?"  
   
Dom drops to the floor and props his elbows on Billy's knees. "Something's off.  It's even farther off because nothing should be off, d'y'know what I mean?  Point is, I'm an arse and I--I hate the way you look at me now."  
   
Which is all true, Billy thinks. He feels ridiculous, and pulls away. "Christ, I don't know what to do with you anymore."  
   
Dom's fingers tug at Billy's collar.  All at once he's in Billy's space, forcing stupid kisses against Billy's cheeks and mouth. "Let's pretend," he breathes, fanning his thumbs across Billy's temples. "We're in your flat in New Zealand and we've had a crap day.  We're fucking knackered but you look so good that I can't--" His teeth find an earlobe.  He sighs. "Bill, so good."  
   
Flushed, Billy manages to push Dom off. "Stop." He inhales, turning away thoughts of hard, angular bodies, and the way a cock feels against the inside of his palm. " _God_ , stop."  
   
 _So much for not wanting Dom that way anymore._

His head swims.  Dom's back draws his eye like magnet. He remembers leaving red, finger-shaped marks down that back. He remembers the way it bunched and sweated as his cock slid out of Dom's body and the head left sticky, clear trails up its curve.  
   
"Why won't you listen?" Dom says, stalking toward a window. "Then again, why should you?  You're the content one.  The one who got it right.  Loyal to your roots and all that, innit?  I'm the sell-out."  
   
Billy watches him, chest hurting. "My God, what's the matter with you?  You're quoting the fucking rags, you cunt.  I--" _love you_. "I'm not going to listen to this insecure bullshit. You know that isn't me, man."

He nearly breaks the speed limit, getting away from the hotel that night.  
 

*

   
   
After the argument, Billy decides it would be best if he didn't see Dom again this holiday.  Best to just get on with it, do the gigs and the appearance, and come round next season, hoping that things will be different or, at the very least, that Dom will be ready to face his demons instead of just shagging on top of them with cotton in his ears.  
   
Orlando helps because he's a contrast, which is odd, as no one would suspect it.  But the reality is that even though Orlando's much higher up on the actors list, he's a more stable person to be friends with.  He's always the same for his mates no matter where he is or what he's doing and it's something that Billy has loved about him since Orlando pounced him hello the very first time.  Orlando is willing to ignore his personal feelings and moods in order to support the people he loves. Maybe it's because of his fame that he tries so hard to remain the same for the people he's closest to. No matter what the reason, it's comforting.  
   
Billy might've fallen for Orlando, he suspects, if Dom hadn't aligned with his soul first or some such other sappy, astrological nonsense. But it just didn't go that way. The truth is, Billy doesn't mind saving Dom every now and then.  He likes loving someone who is full of cracks and dents and who he can punch in the face.  
   
This isn't to say that Dom's latest episode isn't a massively fucked up one, because it is--but to make it momentarily excusable, Billy forces it into the grand scheme of things.  
   
Or perhaps that's just his newborn, inner rock star talking?  
   
Either way, he can prattle on about how he wants to drop Dom off of a bridge as long and nasty as he likes to Orlando, who usually orders him another beer and bites out little Dom-shaped pretzels which he then knocks off the edge of the table. 

 _Ah, best friend, stable Elf-type creature, you are so very, very good to me._  
   
Neither of them means it, really.  
   
Not _really _.  
   
Well.  
   
"You're angry but you're fretting, I can tell, I can," Orlando slurs, pushing a bottle across the sticky, damp tabletop. "That's such a fucking brilliant word, innit, fretting, 's'got lovely sounds and it's all trippy across your back teeth, Billy, don't you reckon, Billy?"  
   
"Whatever you like, pumpkin," Billy says, and Orlando cracks up.  Orlando likes to be called stupid nicknames when he's drunk.  Or perhaps Billy likes to see how many times he can crack up before he pees himself.  He'd love pictures of that.  He'd sell the story to the evening news-- _"Orlando Bloom Pisses Pants: full story at eleven."___

__Orlando flops over onto Billy's side of the booth and puts his head on Billy's shoulder. "You are angry. Your arms are tense like, um, unflinching, like, steel, or something." He giggles._ _

__"Rub me, then, slave," Billy sighs, stretches out, and laughs when Orlando applies himself seriously to the task. "Should get you bollixed more often. Have you wax my car and do the wash and such. Any good at changing nappies? Ooh, little to the left."_ _

__Orlando digs his fingers into Billy's shoulders. "Seriously. D'you think Dom's going to get over this shit?"_ _

__Billy exhales. He turns and kisses Orlando's slack, drunken mouth on a whim. "If I have to set his hair on fire."_ _

__

____

*

He's fired up and ready to go but at the same time calm as hell for this gig, until Orlando waves him over, mobile in hand.

"Dom texted."

Billy's eyes distractedly follow Ali and the baby, more concerned with making sure Jack can sleep in safe quiet somewhere than anything else. She smiles and flutters a hand and he turns back toward Orlando, pacified. He sends up a tiny prayer of thanks--there are times when he thinks he'd float off the face of the planet without her solid, sharp presence to ground him.

"Did he?" His stomach twitches. He hadn't expected to see Dom again so soon.

"He's outside."

Billy reasserts himself. "It's cool." He swats Orlando's arm. "Don't get mobbed, yeah?"

"Right, I'm for the audience, then." Orlando grins, a gesture that turns his whole face bright, and wrestles Billy into a hug, placing a messy kiss atop his head. "You're the star tonight."  
   
 

*

   
   
The second gig is different.

He's tingling by the end of the set and wanks in the loo directly afterward, which he hasn't done in so long that he can't remember the last time. He spreads his knees on either side of the toilet and grips the wall with his left hand, pulling and pulling until it washes over him, making his shoulders shake and his thighs clench.

The unwound, post-orgasmic feeling follows him all the way back to the room. It keeps him up long past everyone else is asleep or gone--unheard of for him, especially now. 

He watches the glittering blue jewel of the hotel pool below from his window. He's past the point of exhaustion. He can feel his pulse at every bend and hollow of his body. He's having one of those rare moments where he feels aggressive and sexual to the point of arrogance. Tossing off hadn't cut it.

He can never indulge this side of himself. Not since Dom. Dom, who took it so easily, encouraged it, loved it, sucked it, and fucked it seven different ways in one night.

Billy groans and buries his face in the curtains. 

_Fuck._

Why does this have to come back now when everything is so fucking complicated?

He moves to close the blinds and spots a figure down by the pool; the source of a ghostly trail of cigarette smoke. He wouldn't have looked twice if it weren't for the profile. 

_He's supposed to be on a plane. He wasn't even supposed to come tonight. ___

__Billy feels the sudden urge to hurt him._ _

__Or something._ _

__The frustration inside his chest coils and snaps. Before he can think twice he's in the elevator, prepared to drown Dom as soon as he gets there. He'll find a shadowy spot in the pool complex and drag Dom's corpse there and leave it and--_ _

__The latch on the gate gives him hell but not for long, and then he's moving, and Dom barely has time to drop his cigarette before Billy's balled his fist and sent it at Dom's jaw. Billy's knuckles connect; Dom stumbles backward, clutching a split lip. Blood shows through his fingertips._ _

__"What the fuck?" he hisses, charging Billy, shoving at his chest._ _

__Billy's body falls into a barely remembered defensive move and with a simple twist and push he sends Dom's body tumbling into the still surface of the pool. The noise and splash erupts like a bomb, disturbing the evening air. It's colder than it had seemed, in fact; Billy had been so angry that he hadn't noticed until now._ _

__"Get out of there so I can punch you into something," he growls, kneeling at the edge._ _

__Dom grabs him behind the calf and he slips on a patch of wet tile and goes headfirst into the water. Spluttering, he kicks and swings at Dom and manages to land quite a few blows despite the water making him sluggish._ _

__His head hits the edge of the pool and he snarls, bucking with his hips to get Dom off so he can get out of the precarious position, but all that does is flip them so that Dom's slammed against the edge and Billy's fists are grinding painfully against the concrete edge in order to hold him there._ _

__Somewhere between pulling back an arm to wallop Dom again and Dom twisting away and pulling at Billy at the same time to try and break his aim, their faces collide. Wet skin and hair mingle, smack, bone on bone bringing a flash of dull, aching pain._ _

__Billy smells blood and cigarettes and chlorine most of all, and he's thrashing and kicking and trying very hard not to drown when Dom grabs his hair and smashes their mouths together._ _

__" _Ungfh_."_ _

__Copper floods Billy's mouth and he growls and smacks Dom's hands away. His face tears to the side but all he ends up doing is grabbing Dom by the throat--then the jaw--and latching violently onto his mouth again. Dom bites his tongue and he flinches and goes back for more._ _

___What the fuck._ _ _

__Billy pins Dom as best as he can to the wall with his hips and bites and sucks every bit of chlorine-flavored salt off of Dom's mouth. He squeezes Dom's jaw until Dom's squirming in protest, then slips his tongue into Dom's mouth, and suddenly it's mutual and their faces are tossing left, right, left, right, gasping breaths churning between bruised, split lips as they frantically attempt to kiss each other harder._ _

__Billy's hard as a fucking rock and still pissed as hell. He pushes Dom away and off to the side and gasps, blinking water from his eyes. They tread water._ _

__"Out of the fucking pool," he says, low, hard, unquestionable. "Now."_ _

__Dom scrambles out, still looking aggravating and stunned, all bruised and spiky wet eyelashes, and falls backward into a shadowy spot behind some lounge chairs and under a shock of foliage. Billy sinks between his knees and shoves Dom onto his back. He pins Dom's body to the concrete with his and their panting mouths brush._ _

__In an effort to stop before this goes too far, Billy kisses Dom's mouth with less force, feels Dom hiss and recoil as his lip bleeds afresh. Billy bites the opposite lip, positions himself between Dom's thighs and pushes their cocks together. _Ah, fuck, yes_. Dom inhales sharply._ _

___Stopping? Doubt it._ _ _

__"Shut it, and listen." Billy kisses him again, and again, and he starts to breathe heavily in a different sort of way, and his hips begin seeking friction. "You've been a fucking bastard." He thrusts again, kisses again, and their tongues slip, wet and hot, tangling inside Billy's mouth. When Billy pulls away, Dom's face follows, silently begging him not to stop. "Hold the _fuck_ still."_ _

__Dom stiffens, chest rising and falling. Billy watches his face: red, bruised, bleeding, and completely apologetic._ _

__"I don't know how to sweet talk you into confessions or help you make your decisions or fuck knows what else it is you need." But I know how to do this, he thinks._ _

__The kissing is rhythmic now, like a slow, looping thrust, back and forth, mewls and whimpers and gasps cut off by the sink of teeth and tongue. He can't stop kissing Dom._ _

__"Going to suck you. Bastard, going to--"_ _

__With jerky movements--he watches Dom's belly and hips twitch submissively with the tugs--Billy yanks Dom's shirt off, then pulls down Dom's sopping shorts and shifts past Dom's belly, sliding his mouth down around the shaft of Dom's cock. Dom sobs, fisting air pathetically. The small of his back comes off the ground._ _

__" _Fuck_. Oh, God."_ _

__Billy's mouth is around Dom like a vise and in his haste he isn't looking to be graceful--there's saliva down his chin and pre-come at the bow of his upper lip and he's generating sweetly obscene sucking noises--and before long Dom's cock is full and hard, throbbing, slippery. Billy's cheek drops, taps thigh, and his tongue falls, spit slides, and he shoves Dom's thighs apart and up and back and curls his tongue against Dom's arsehole._ _

__Dom squirms upward, fists uncurling and palms flat, scrabbling along the concrete, cock against his wet belly. Tears leak out the corners of his eyes when Billy replaces his tongue with a fingertip._ _

__"Shit," Dom hisses. "Don't fucking st--oh my god oh Jesus fuck _fuck_ , Bill. Bill."_ _

__Billy stops to wrestle an abandoned bottle of sunscreen from under the nearest lounge chair. He looks up at Dom long enough to note the scrapes that the unforgiving concrete has left on his legs and knees and elbows. For some reason, he feels a flush of intense pride._ _

__"This what you want?" Billy growls._ _

__He feels dangerous and completely violent and he wants nothing more than to fuck Dom so hard that he will hurt for days and yet Dom keeps egging him on. Billy gets a palmful of sunscreen and lifts Dom's hips off the ground. Two white-streaked fingers disappear between Dom's cheeks and he moans and pushes up on the balls of his feet, then sinks against the probing touch, working the tips inside._ _

__"Yeah, yeah, _fuck_ ," he hisses, and Billy almost comes against Dom's leg as he feels Dom's impossibly hot, smooth inside give way and then constrict around his fingers. " _Please_." Billy's second knuckle brushes that sweet spot and Dom's whole body jerks off the ground and his hand flies outward, clutching the lounge chair's leg. "Oh, ungh."_ _

__Billy finds the patience to slow down, savoring the pleasure of milking Dom's ass open with his fingers. Dom's riding them like they were just as good as any cock, drooling and pushing and a complete mess to the eye. Billy's wrist twinges, but he's not willing to stop._ _

__"Christ, you could come just like that, couldn't you? Fucking my fingers. But you want it, don't you, want more. What'd you like? Hm?" Billy scrapes and caresses at the flat of Dom's hipbone with his free hand. He pushes his palm down against Dom's belly, just to feel the frantic heave there. He pinches Dom's nipples between wet fingertips._ _

__"Ah, God, fuck me," Dom sighs, grabbing at his own cock and flexing his pelvis to drive Billy's fingers as deep as possible. He's fucking gone, eaten alive by that delirious space in which he doesn't even think. He just responds. " _Christ_ , inside me, fuck me, please, p-please. I'm sorry. I've been--oh, stop, I can't--just--Bill. Need your cock." He dissolves into babbling grunts._ _

__"Roll over," Billy says, and Dom flips, presenting a gravel-specked back, half scratched to hell from the floor and the fighting, but his hole is pink and puckered, spread and ringed with greasy white sunscreen. Billy fingers it with his thumb. Dom's practically cooing, now, and Billy applies another squirt of sunscreen, lifts himself from his shorts, and pushes the head of his cock into Dom's body. It's so fucking hot. He grits his teeth._ _

__" _Billy_." Dom's head falls between hunched shoulder blades. His muscular back flexes, slicks of water and sweat making the red look ten times worse than it probably is. His cheeks pool--somehow firm and soft at the same time--in Billy's hands, spreading as if they were made to do so. "Fuck."_ _

__They haven't fucked like this in years._ _

__And beyond the anger and the fact that half of this feels like fighting, Billy suddenly registers that they _are fucking _.___ _

____Dom is on his hands and knees and Billy's cock is filling him up, and Billy's hands are on Dom's hips and back and shoulders, marking him, and then his fingers are tugging Dom's hair. They're--God. Fuck._ _ _ _

____Dom is frantically tugging at his own cock, milking Billy's with slow clenches of his arse, then, suddenly, coming and sobbing and slamming back into Billy so hard that Billy can't hold back anymore (and somewhere in there Dom's gasping, "Come, _come in me_ , come in me"). He grits his teeth and tips his face to the cool night air ("Fuck!") and his final thrust nearly topples Dom onto his chin. _ _ _ _

____Billy comes hard enough to make his limbs go numb. His hips jerk and feels the warm, wet mess of it around the head of his cock. He spreads his hands across Dom's lower back._ _ _ _

_____Oh, God._ _ _ _ _

____The rage that had drawn Billy down here lifts all at once like a shroud of smoke and in that exhausted, stupid, giddy moment he realizes that he should've punched Dom in the face months ago. The thought sets him off laughing. He coughs to hide it, but Dom's already fallen forward on his forearms and spit out a chuckle, too._ _ _ _

____They're a mess. Billy shifts. Breathes._ _ _ _

____"Ah," Dom mumbles against his arm. "Don't, don't. Stay. God--"_ _ _ _

____"I just sort of beat and raped you and you want me to--"_ _ _ _

____"You're joking, yeah?" Dom's shoulder muscles cord up, and he gingerly moves his irritated, used arsehole against Billy's softening cock. He sighs blissfully. "Fuck, I would've _asked_ you to knock me flat if I'd known it would end like that."_ _ _ _

____"Right, I'm not talking to your goddamn spine, Monaghan, budge over."_ _ _ _

____They peel apart. Dom pulls his shorts up. The sight of that waistband coming up over Dom's damp, spread arse makes his cock twitch._ _ _ _

____Billy wonders how the hell they even had the mental organization to fuck in the only secluded spot the whole rectangular complex has to offer. Dom comes back with towels and they recline. The air is chilly._ _ _ _

____The aggression's waned, now, and Billy runs a hand over his hair. He reaches out thoughtlessly and drags Dom in for a softer sort of kiss. He's forgotten what it feels like to be completely fucked out and have Dom's mouth melting against his._ _ _ _

____"Talk," he says, blinking stupidly. He'll fall asleep if Dom doesn't start talking, very loudly and right now. "I am, I can't, words, so. Talk." He pulls Dom into the circle of his legs and arms._ _ _ _

____Dom rests his forehead against Billy's. "I'm sorry. You were right. I couldn't just fuck us back down memory lane and ignore, you know, now. Got a lot to think about. Working on it. But you were right. You were right and you know, I think you always will be, you barmy fucking Scottish bastard, and I'll probably love your correct arse until it's wrinkly and pale with old age."_ _ _ _

____"Should I punch you more often?" Billy boggles, mockingly floored by Dom's return to the land of the sane._ _ _ _

____"Yes," Dom growls, kissing Billy hard. "Reminds me of that one time we spread blankets out behind the house on the South Island and you had those nylon cords and you made me get on my stomach--"_ _ _ _

____Billy groans, spent cock throbbing. "Too exhausted for those memories, Christ, shut up."_ _ _ _

____"Hurt so good, though, remember? Love it when you get like that. God, love it when you hold me down." He mouths Billy's neck, full of exhausted sighs, though his cock seems to still be half in the game. Billy feels his giddy satisfaction and wishes they could do it all over again._ _ _ _

____Their mouths touch, soft, then wet, then warm, and Billy feels Dom's breath spill into his mouth. He cradles Dom's bruised jaw. "I want you to go home. I want you to think. I want to go home and _not_ think and when you're done I want you to come to me, wherever I am, and I want you to tell me everything, and it's very likely that I will punch you again."_ _ _ _

____Billy thinks, _At least I didn't have to set his hair on fire. That would have been terribly unfortunate.__ _ _ _

____Dom grins._ _ _ _


End file.
